I have that problem. But it's more like a fear of failure than of success. I think in my mind, the fear of success sounds like a euphemism for what it really is. Let's face it. My ego is delicate and doesn't want to get hurt. My will is what gets me in trouble. I believe Adam and Eve might agree with me on this one. Our desires vs. God's desires. God wins every time. It's just a matter of how much pain we want to experience before we finally surrender to His perfect plan for our lives.
My resident carpenter, best friend and editor in chief is currently the source of most of my internal desire for self-sabotage. My craving to run away and force a failure before the failure blind-sights me. It's a fear of success. A successful marriage. But no. that's not it at all. It's a fear of failure. Of having my ego damaged by rejection. Rejection from the man I love. It's the fear that I'm not good enough. Or just not enough.
A fear that I will be left just like I have left others. Ouch. That hurts to type.
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