Mud Dust. Hold the Kale and Ginger.

The Lord increased my faith this morning. This was the beginning of my day.

Me: Lord, where are my roomie's keys?
Holy Spirit: Check the trash.
Off I go to check and good night, there they were!
Me: Thank you, Lord!
Holy Spirit: nod. and fist bump.

Great start to the day.
Then I slowly spiraled into a deep depression. Our house can do this to a person if you spend too much unattended time there. It's a construction site. It's a neat freak's worst nightmare. But it is an exciting opportunity to uproot the old and start fresh with the new. It's a gift from God. It's a work in progress. It's a blessing.

I realize there are many positives attachments to this home. But standing in the midst of the drywall mud-dust wondering why it has to take three washing to wipe that stuff off our floors makes me want to go back to bed and stay there indefinitely. I can't keep wiping the same filmy space. I'm getting drywall mud-dust elbow. my head is spinning.

A good Christian girl would find peace and joy in the situation by praying and thanking God and singing praise music and..ESPECIALLY after a morning like I had. Prayer request? Boom! Answered. How'd you like that, sister?

But no. Instead. Israelites in the desert. Complaining about the locust. What do I decide to do? I turn to Ginger.  No, Ginger is not the neighbor's cat. Or my friend's redheaded daughter's nickname. Ginger the Rhizome. I heart you sweet sweet crystallized rhizome.

When my Editor in Chief came home. I asked him to hide the crystallized ginger. Good start to the day. Bad ending. Keep in mind I was productive during the moments in between. Scraping old caulking off the ceiling of our shower. wiping a few square feet of floor. preparing fried wontons. wiping the same square footage of floor. Spraying off the deck and attending to the plants. Wiping off the same square footage of floor. visiting my sister-in-law. wiping the same stinking area of floor....
But lets not bore you with the details.

I should give you some history of the said ginger product. Cue harpist.

I am a Kale Lady, Kale Queen, Kale Peddler for Brad's Raw Foods. Here comes the bummer: Raw Kale makes my body want to hibernate for three days for the winter while it's 70 degrees and there's 90 percent humidity outside. Raw Kale causes my head to turn into a flotation device. My thinking becomes buoyant much like that of a drug induced haze - but with side effects less likely to contaminate a new hire urine sample.
....yes I ATE it...for heaven's sake. I ingested it and followed the instructions on the box. Same results every time.

So I have to put down the raw vintage veggie and put up a white flag of defeat. I schlepp and sell the very thing I can't eat. Sad irony.
Anywho, I won a few contests by convincing a large number of Houstonians to sign up for our social media list. As a reward - I inherit large sums of Amazonian money...eh-hem....a $30 gift card from amazon.com. Same difference.

Here comes the embarrassing stuff. Those of you prone to blushing. censor your eyes as you read the rest. 

So I like to buy condoms online in bulk. If you don't recall from previous posts. I am cheap. And this is what some call 'economy of scale'. Please refrain from injecting twisted sexual innuendos into any followup sentences. The more I type, the more it appears I am opening up doors for those of the deviant nature. Let's pray it out of you.
Well, in order to get free shipping, I had to spend $25 more. So what to buy, what to buy, what to buy. I waited another day to search my heart for things that were truly important. Things we needed desperately in the house. Important. Very important things are the only ones I will purchase. What to buy, what to buy...mulling it over..praying fervently...Crystallized Ginger! 5 pounds of it! Brilliant!

What came over me? As soon as I ordered and finalized the order. I became giddy like a 7 year old that just got away with sneaking a cookie when no one was looking. Indulgence! I earned it with all of those leafy kale stained emails! I won the right to be gratuitous with my money! ME and Ginger baby! There's no stopping us now....

So in my spiral of depression. My need to fill a void that only God can fill. Ginger came beckoning with it's sweet sweet spicy whisper. "I can make you happy....Just a few will do the trick. right?"

I gorge on it. It reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode I watched as a child that traumatized me (were there any episodes that weren't designed to traumatize a 9 year old?). This man walks into a room a buffet style table and the most elaborate spreads and dishes. Food galore. And he can't stop eating. He just can't stop himself. Freaked me out.

Oh - before I go! I have to note the curiosity that must have come over Amazon.com's shipping fulfillment center. Hm. 100 condoms. check. 5 lbs of dried crystallized ginger. check. a good time had by said recipient. check.
And to boot. The brand of my ginger was plainly in large print on the bag 'Oh Nuts!' ....you couldn't make this stuff up.